The Ideal Physics Song
 

(sung to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

Masses slide down frictionless inclines
Wheels will spin eternally,
Light rays converge from perfectly straight lines
And functions change incrementally.
Everyone knows things really don't behave this way
And still we all pretend they do.
Tiny tots have no spin, so they say
And we convince ourselves it's true.

We know it's true only to first order
That crystals act as if they haven't any border
And only freshman have to try
To see that E and B point just in X and Y.

Remember one is on the order of infinity
And dividing by zero ain't so bad
With these helpful hints, all is simplicity
It's the real world,
It's the real world,
It's the real world that's sad.